Coming to terms

OK, another one about adoption.

I noticed a comment on my post about adoption. The commenter seemed to be saying that I did good thing by contacting my birthmom, and "making her come to terms with it..."

Whatever. That was not my intention in contacting her. I knew from my searches that she wanted contact, so I made contact.

According to FauxClaud, only now can she "...begin to feel again. Only then can she heal."

What nonsense. My birthmom has had a very cool and fulfilling life, with more to come. She wondered about the child she gave up, but it did not destroy her life.

I note that this person is pretty much against adoption, based on the subtitle of her Blog, Musings of the Lame, "Confessions of an anti-adoption momma", and a sidebar quote:

...One mother and child separated for the wrong reasons is a terrible tragedy. To be manipulated and fed on like chum..I don't know why, but that word fits....these preganant women with no resourses are chum for these money fiends to throw into the water to attract those who cannot think with their soul connected to humanity. The waters of adoption are red with the blood of broken hearts.

Are you freakin' kidding me? To quote the great social analyst, Elaine Benes, "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?"

This is such crap. My adopted parents could not rub two nickels together. I never went to bed hungry, not once, but there was a lot of material things I could not have. I know a dozen or so others who are adopted, and none of their stories are much different.

Now, I am assuming this person is anti-adoption, based on this website. Fine. Then I read this:

"On a sad note..WTF is wrong with South Dakota????? They did it. Abortion is banned."

OK, so does this mean you believe abortion is a better choice than adoption? Oh, wait,

Now I don't like tying in adoption to abortion, as I see the two choices to be different choices completely.

How?

I read one of the other links on this woman's site, and apparently her birth control has failed her a couple of times. The first time, she killed it. Problem solved. The second time, she gave the kid up for adoption; apparently she regrets that. Abortion is especially ugly to me when it is used as a birth control by someone who lacks the willpower to abstain or accept the consequences of her actions. You speak of "The waters of adoption are red with the blood of broken hearts", well how about a kid getting sucked into a sink?

You talk about "coming to terms" with an adoption, but maybe you need to think a bit about coming to terms with abortion.

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The whole mess is updated here. There are more comments here.