Saturday, May 13, 2006


There used to be some shame attached to getting knocked up before marriage. Single mothers were usually widows, or at least divorced.
Now it is just no big deal. I know probably five girls I went to school with that had kids while in school. Grandma and grandpa usually raised the kid. And the kids are uniformly screwed up. I know adults now, too, who I know were were raised by one parent, and they are pretty much a bunch of maladjusted mooching insecure loosers.
You people over at the anti-adoption sites keep whining about me calling single mothers less than perfect. Show me a normal kid from a single parent family and I will show you fifty more that are disasters. Kids need two parents, and there is no disputing it. It is just a fact. I am sure the kid would not be unloved, but he is handicapped.
So the whole 'Keep the kid no matter what' arguement is nothing but selfish. The only reason to not give up a kid in this situation is so you can prove 'I can do it' to whoever. Your shortcomings that led you to screw and get pregnant are probably related to a lack of self confidence, and keeping the kid represents an opportunity to prove yourself. It is nothing but an ego trip.
So you have a kid, and probably grandma gets to do some free babysitting while you wait tables. And try to go to school. And have a personal life. Sure.
I am fully aware that it is possible to successfully raise a kid by yourself. There are exceptions to the rule. I think they are rare miracles.
Giving up a child is not about survival. It is not about coercion, or shame. It is about courage. The right thing to do in a difficult situation is usually the hardest thing to do. If you gave up a child, you probably did the right thing. You knew you could not do it alone, and you trusted someone to do it for you, that could do it better. Stop the whining about being forced to give your child up. Stop crying all the time and trying to make the rest of us feel sorry for your choices. You could have changed your mind anywhere along the line. Stop stalking the parents and your ex-kids. You are not going to help anyone but yourself by popping in on someone else's family. Live your own life, and if your ex-kid wants to meet up when they are grown up, fine. The parents of your kid don't need you to pass judgement on them, either.
The winner is not the new parents, or the biological mother. The winner is the child, who is raised by someone who stood in line for years and paid thousands of dollars for the privelage of raising a human. Our responsibility to humanity is to raise more good humans, and it is a team effort.

No comments:

Post a Comment